I've been with him from Sunday to Thursday. Its Saturday now, early but still, Saturday. And I just feel worse than before. When I saw his car driving up to the train station, I was happy to see him. And when I saw him smiling and he opened the door and kissed me, all I could think was "YEEEEEESSSSSS."
We get to his house and he leans against the couch back and puts me in front of him and we look at each other and we kiss and ...
Fast forward to me leaving and I feel like and idiot for letting him back into my heart so much. I mean yeah, he wasn't gone all that much but still, I was getting better. I know he doesn't want to be with me if were so far away, and yes I get it. But I can't in good conscience keep talking to him and seeing him if he wont commit. Its not that he is afraid of commitment though, it's just that he doesn't like the distance.
No shit. Neither do I.
I would much rather have him close to me where I could keep an eye on him, and cuddle every night. But where we are at in our lives, doesn't allow that. I just feel like sometimes he thinks I'm not worth it and that's why he broke up with me. Which is of course ridiculous. Who wouldn't like me? I'm spunky, full of life, and I love having someone to take care of me, but who will also let me take care of them. That's what he was. I mean, I get guy friends telling me they like me [well I used to] so why can't I make the one guy I like happy? It makes me feel worthless as all hell.
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