Stars ♥

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest

Moods

Was in a good mood on Friday/Saturday. Officially swung right back to cranky today. Ugh. Why do boys suck so much? Nolan's sending me my necklace back. I think hes done with me. Its the only text i got from him in like a week. Saying he still has it and that he doesn't have my address. Every time we talk he seems so far away I can't stand it anymore. So I just told him that I don't think we should anymore. Hurts too much. Terrible way to start this weekend.






New ink most definitely needed

Acceptance

So, I've been alone for awhile and I think that's whats making me angry recently. And by recently I mean like for the past couple weeks. I go through the motions but I really only get truly happy when Attention is being paid to me. This is bad. I know I wont mess up more than I already did, but I need someone.


I realized that I talk to Greg a lot, like every day, and that I feel weird when I don't talk to him. I have most definitely transferred my need to talk to Superman with my need to talk to Greg. I hate this. I most definitely turn to Greg, not for the emotional side of a relationship, but for the having someone there side.

I just want to go back to the happy me. And I am starting to think I need someone in my life for me to be happy. Will I never be whole if I'm alone?

Translate-able

Tout le monde dit que l'amour fait mal, ce qui est faux. La solitude fait mal. Se faire rejeter fait mal. Perdre quelqu'un fait mal. L'envie fait mal. Tout le monde confond ces petites choses avec l'amour,mais en réalité, l'amour est la seule chose dans ce monde qui fait fuir tout ce mal et qui te fait sentir si bien à nouveau.

Everyone says that love hurts, but they're wrong. Solitude hurts. Getting rejected hurts. Loosing someone hurts. Desire hurts. Everyone confuses theses small things with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world which chases alway all the hurt and makes you feel good again.

<3

1/3/01-1/7/01

I've been with him from Sunday to Thursday. Its Saturday now, early but still, Saturday. And I just feel worse than before. When I saw his car driving up to the train station, I was happy to see him. And when I saw him smiling and he opened the door and kissed me, all I could think was "YEEEEEESSSSSS."

We get to his house and he leans against the couch back and puts me in front of him and we look at each other and we kiss and ...

Fast forward to me leaving and I feel like and idiot for letting him back into my heart so much. I mean yeah, he wasn't gone all that much but still, I was getting better. I know he doesn't want to be with me if were so far away, and yes I get it. But I can't in good conscience keep talking to him and seeing him if he wont commit. Its not that he is afraid of commitment though, it's just that he doesn't like the distance.

No shit. Neither do I.

I would much rather have him close to me where I could keep an eye on him, and cuddle every night. But where we are at in our lives, doesn't allow that. I just feel like sometimes he thinks I'm not worth it and that's why he broke up with me. Which is of course ridiculous. Who wouldn't like me? I'm spunky, full of life, and I love having someone to take care of me, but who will also let me take care of them. That's what he was. I mean, I get guy friends telling me they like me [well I used to] so why can't I make the one guy I like happy? It makes me feel worthless as all hell.

New Years

I feel so pathetic.

I had gotten better with dealing with the fact that HE broke up with me. But it's 7 am on the 31st, I've been crying hopelesly for more than 2 hours. I don't wanna go out tonight but I need to.







I'm sorry for bothering you with this but I really wish you were here now.







I just don't understand why he did it. Like ok distance but why when it was so close to break. HELP ME. Xickshddjdk fjxjjzjOsogh I fucking hate this

Falala Lifetime

Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Ties the season to be jolly, Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our gay apparel, Fa la la, la la la, la la la. Troll the ancient Yule tide carol, Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the blazing Yule before us, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Strike the harp and join the chorus. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Follow me in merry measure, Fa la la la la, la la la la. While I tell of Yule tide treasure, Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Fast away the old year passes, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Hail the new, ye lads and lasses, Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Sing we joyous, all together, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Heedless of the wind and weather, Fa la la la la, la la la la.